Formal Letter (Descriptive Reflection)

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Subject: Self-Introduction

Dear Professor Brad,

My name is Benedict Cheong Wen Quan and I am writing to introduce myself as one of your students in your Effective Communication class. I am currently studying mechanical engineering at SIT/UofG as a year 1 student.

I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a Diploma in Aerospace Technology with minor business management. During my polytechnic years, I interned in Pratt and Whitney, CAS, this allowed me to experience working in an engineering company. The method of reparation of the aircraft parts intrigued me and reinforced my interest to join this industry in the future. 

For my strength, I am confident in sustaining a conversation with just about anyone. For example, during school holidays, I’ve worked in i-Wellness, where I go to companies to conduct health screenings. Through this experience, I gained experience conversing with strangers and confidence in engaging them to promote various health screening packages. However, my weakness is public speaking. My confidence disappears when I am giving a presentation to a crowd. For example, during my internship final presentation, even after countless rehearsals and practices, I still find myself stuttering, unable to project my voice and maintain eye contact with the audience. 

Two of my goals in this module is to improve my confidence in public speaking and my technical writing skills. The former will directly tackle my weakness and help me to excel in presentation, a skill I believe will be crucial. The latter will help me to write clear and concise reports on concepts related to engineering, which is beneficial in the industry. 

In conclusion, I believe I have much more to learn when it comes to communication. I hope that under your guidance, through this course, I will be able to better convey my thoughts and information to others.

Best Regards,

Benedict Cheong Wen Quan 

Comments

  1. Kai ChuanJanuary 18, 2020 at 2:39 AM

    Hi Benedict! We have known each other for years and I'm glad to be in the same course as you in university. For your letter of introduction, I like how you organized it with separate paragraphs to show your focal points. In terms of your writing, I feel like the part "For my strength" can be replaced with a better opening phrase for example, "In terms of my strength". However, the rest of it has a nice flow in them with various transition words. Overall, great piece of work and keep it up. Look forward to working with you in class!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Benedict Cheong Wen QuanJanuary 23, 2020 at 7:58 PM

      Dear Kai Chuan,

      Thank you for your feedback. I'll keep that in mind for my next post. Hope to see you around.

      Best Regards,

      Benedict Cheong Wen Quan

      Delete
  2. Brandon KohJanuary 20, 2020 at 1:38 AM

    Dear Benedict,

    Thank you for your informative and well paced introduction letter. After reading your letter, i would like to share some of my opinions on your letter that i had.

    Firstly, regarding content, i believe you did very well in managing to narrate your life's journey in this short letter while also accurately describing the required content the assignment desired. However, i feel that additional emphasize could have been included in the reason for your interest in engineering so as to let readers identify with you better. Maybe adding a more personal story of how your job experience strengthened your interest would be exceptional.

    Secondly, regarding organisation. Your manner of organizing the contents of the letter was well paced and appropriately systematized. I had no problems linking the different paragraphs together and comprehending the meaning of your sentences. Overall the organisation was precise and effective.

    Lastly, for your language use. There are some areas in your letter that i believe could be improved on. Your second paragraph, when talking about your work experience and reason for interest could have more engrossing or creative phrases. In your third paragraph, whenever you used "For example", a better phrase could be used such as "For instance" or "to give an example". This would give the letter more zest and intrigue the reader better. For your closing, instead of "Best Regards," the correct wording should be "Best regards,".

    In conclusion, it was a great introduction letter. With more personal stories and creative phrases
    included, i believe your next letter will be even more fascinating and impressive. Thank you for your time and effects in writing this letter and I definitely look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

    Best regards,
    Brandon Koh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Benedict Cheong Wen QuanJanuary 23, 2020 at 8:03 PM

      Dear Brandon,

      I've sincerely thank you for the detailed feedback that you written for me. For the language use, I'll take note of coming up with engrossing or creative phrases. Thank you once again for the comments and hope to see more of your work as well in the future.

      Best regards,
      Benedict Cheong Wen Quan

      Delete
  3. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 23, 2020 at 9:24 PM

    Dear Benedict,

    Thanks very muc for this clear, concise and informative post. I appreciate all the sharing so that we readers can learn so much about you.

    Your peers have left some well-considered commets on this post. Please allow me to add to those by raising your awareness on the following issues:

    1. use of caps and punctuation
    -- in your Effective Communication class > ?
    -- with a Diploma in Aerospace Technology with minor business management. > (inconsistent)
    -- Best Regards, > ?

    2. Language use/words/phrasing
    -- During my polytechnic years, I interned in Pratt and Whitney, CAS, this allowed me to
    experience working in an engineering company. > (sentenc structure: comma splice)
    -- reparation > ?

    I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Benedict Cheong Wen QuanFebruary 15, 2020 at 11:42 PM

      Dear Professor Brad,

      Thank you for your viewing my blog post and giving constructive comments on my first introduction letter. I will take note of my caps, punctuation and language use/phrasings. I would like to also take this opportunity to thank you, Professor Brad, for allowing me to use blogger as the last time I used blogger was back in primary school. Definitely brings back memories. I hope under your guidance, I will be able to improve my writing and communicating.

      Best regards,

      Benedict

      Delete

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